Had a walk with my parents on Sunday, the weather was pleasant, their dog was happy playing with a ball and sniffing butts. We met a lot of great dogs and said hello to their owners and other park users and STOP PRESS we didn't argue about anything. On the contrary, we agreed about a fair amount of stuff. But the difference probably was that they wanted have a little bitch session and I was presumed to be an ally. They were right - up to a point.
This is yet again another complicated on-going saga of relationships in my life that have altered (usually turning sour) when the dynamic is changed. After relocating, at whatever age, you need to build a new life and hopefully forge new friendships, mates make life by turns fun when times are good and support you when the sh*t hits the many and various fans. If they are good mates who turn into actual 'friends' they even start to understand you and genuinely accept you with all your flaws and boorish opinions - and you accept them despite theirs. In the words of the wise ......
You have different mates for different occasions and types of extra curricular activity and even at times, joy of joys, you can introduce your mates to each other and authentic friendly networks of fun and support spring forth. However this ideal isn't aways reached. So my first mate turned out to be good company and we had a fair amount in common - particularly our shared love of vin rouge and going to the movies - and we were both getting to grips with starting again in a new city. But my brother was also keen to socialise more as his marriage was a bit of a sham and they were only going through the motions, not least to protect his daughter from any separation or divorce fall out. It was great to see more of him and to see him having fun. However, eventually it was becoming fairly obvious (the body language was becoming a give away) that there was something going on between them and the excuses of my mate when I tried to organise certain outings, were just not adding up. It then all came out and it transpired they had been seeing each other for six months. Initially I was pleased that she had a boyfriend and that he had found someone to be happy with. Then the dynamics changed and assumptions were made that it would all be instant happy families. Well mum and dad were thrilled that the old daughter-in-law would soon be out of the picture and frankly (and pretty much as usual) viewed the change through its effect on them. My brother also wasn't good at observing the usual social etiquette and although not deliberate, was insensitive about the changing relationships and is all went from bad to worse fairly quickly. For whatever reason I just didn't really want to be around them during their 'honeymoon' period and so the friendship ran its course.
Fast forward a few years and the odd attempt at just getting on with it at family occasions, my brother blithely pretending nothing was wrong and my parents not understanding what the problem was 'well you used to be friends!' There really wasn't (still isn't) much subtlety or understanding, just black and white thinking highlighting that I really did thinking differently from them. So for quite some time I just tried not to think too much about it but that is easier said than done and there is nothing pleasant or enriching about a feud!
At this stage there is now an uneasy kind of truce shaping up between me and the old drinking bud. My parents though, never keep their observations to themselves and so have bulldozed in and managed to upset the lovebirds by criticising their decorating choices in their new (first jointly owned) place. Potentially a pretty significant moment for them as a couple but as my parents have no finesse, and tact and diplomacy are in short supply, feelings are a bit hurt. So they seemed to relish the retelling of this story to me - it sounded a bit different when I heard it from my brothers POV. I think my Dad identified a way to bond with me over a shared dislike of the new girlfriend but it just reminds me of his less than admirable trait, carelessness of others feelings. Frankly a cruel streak in him that was probably ingrained since his babyhood - the youngest of four then usurped but two more kids coming along when he was in his mid-teens. But then his mother had a cruel streak too and he is just a chip off the block. A little pop psychology but what worries me is that I know I am like them in so many ways - cruelty however is not one of my (myriad) faults, I find it abhorrent. However there was a part of me that revelled for a moment in the fact that they might now start to realise that the feud (for want of a more accurate word) was not entirely of my making and they should have given me tiniest benefit of the doubt?
Had a day off work today, the sun was shining, I did a few chores and went for a walk to the local shops to get some vegetables and saw a sign for the lottery. Tonight there is potentially a huge jackpot. Now I did buy a ticket last week too and didn't get a single number, so why do I do it? Why, because from the moment you take possession of the ticket to the time you check the winning numbers - you can actually allow yourself to dream large as you are IN IT TO WIN IT - you can fantasise about having enough money to lead a different life, help out your loved ones and not have to do tedious work any more. 
