Cal-or-ie, I'm the same girl I used to be....!

Well now that I have managed to stay on the wagon for in excess of 21-days, according to perceived wisdom - that means the habit is now BROKEN.  Actually I am not feeling craven.  Each time, usually toward the end of yet another dull workday, the image of relaxing with red wine comes into my mind, and the inner voice body-slams that thought to the floor and says NO.

Now in my mind I have an image of the 'good' Matron wagging her finger at the 'bad' Matron exclaiming "just stop hurting myself, take control and don't be a LUSH". 

Interesting though that word lush in this context is Irish slang for  - one who drinks alcohol to excess habitually; an alky, boozer, dipsomaniac, souse, soaker, inebriate, rummy, sot or wino.  All conceived as 'bad'. But the other side of the coin is the positive connotations - the 'good' lush: abundant, dense (given the alleged killing off of brain cells by booze - that could be taken either way!), flourishing, lavish, prolific, teeming, verdant, luxurious, sumptuous, plush, opulent, ritzy, succulent, fresh, tender, ripe and juicy.

 

So that paragraph sums up the eternal struggle and allure of substances that help 'comfort' and blur the sometimes sharp (and dull) edges of reality.  However here she comes again ..... you can hear her heavy footfall coming down the mental corridor..... I have just finished listening to two audiobooks on my dogwalks, autobiographies read by the authors, Jane Fonda My life So Far and Carrie Fisher Shockoholic and Wishful Drinking.  Two actresses and authors that I really like and admire but both spent decades consumed by their substances abuse - they have found their way though and both acknowledge their good and bad experiences as a result.  But ultimately they have taken control of their lives but are aware they it is a constant battle of mindful intent to not just gently roll off that wagon back to temporary bliss and salve.  As 'Bad' Matron would rap

A MINUTE ON THE LIPS BUT A LIFE ON THE HIPS

Anyway, just weighed myself and measured my vitals and the numbers are in.  Despite not drinking red wine and consuming very few calorific drinks, despite not indulging in on average (not let's give my red wine monster the benefit of the doubt and say 5 bottles of week), that is 645 calories per bottle by 28 = 18060 calories....  [And as that one bottle of wine is apparently equivalent to = 14 Jaffa cakes or McDonald's Cheeseburger and medium fries!] I have lost - drum roll please........

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

I am the same girl I used to be.  So it looks like February might have to be not only booze free but phase two as low carb as I can tolerate, then I will see how the 'figures' compare at the close of next month. 


Bad Matron might have to wag that finger a with a bit more VIGOUR!!! at least it will burn off a few more calories.