Dictionary definition =
| Adj. | 1. | lascivious - driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful
desires; "libidinous orgies" feeling morbid sexual desire or a propensity to lewdness |
On paper it should have been so enjoyable - a couple of mates away for a mini-break, a sports car (I have just realised it could have been a T&L situation) a girly location (i.e. a spa town) money in our pockets, nice countryside, comfortable accommodations (i.e. two bedrooms and two bathrooms). It should all add up to bliss. But instead of this, it was more like this and --> on reflection, I realise that I am Jack Lemmon/Tony Randell and not Walter Matthau/Jack Klugman. But of course from my prospective I am the superior being. Well that is harsh, we just don't have enough in common to sustain a weekend together and this is the first time we have done it and I have realised it with such brute a forcini. Perhaps she couldn't wait to get rid of me too, because I had been a boring, judgemental, stick-in-the-mud but I even wonder if she even has that much sensitivity? When she kept suggesting other outings and locations for our next weekend away, I found myself mentally sticking a fork in my leg and kept on smiling (whilst being non-committal - see I am learning from my time spent with men!)The timing of this weekend away was all about her, her long term lover was leaving for a very special holiday with his wife and so she wanted to fill her time and not be alone in her apartment - although whilst we were away he was in mid-air, perhaps business class but nonetheless going long-haul in a confided space, squirming in his seat, feeling pressure to converse with his partner and downing food & drink to alleviate the boredom, then we would have had to endure the inevitable indigestion and flatulence - not that dissimilar from my experience with his mistress!
Yet again it makes me think that I should have a long rest from, or at least a cut back on, time spent with people that although I like, I accommodate much more than they ever seek to accommodate me! I felt uncomfortable by a neediness, an eagerness to please and yet total selfishness (that combination seems improbable but it actually happened) and I found myself being not only incredibly annoyed but more than that, palpably bored. Although I felt bad, I was equally repulsed. I am using very emotional and dramatic vocab but from Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon, that feeling just intensified with every moment that passed! 
An expensive and tedious trip. Not even the indulgence in food and drink did what it ordinarily does - it didn't really dull my senses! I can't explain my violent reaction except that my companion talked endlessly about the woes in her life, the fact that she was overweight - like it was an unfair affliction visited upon her, but the lust for Krispy Kremes didn't count - that coloured everything in her life. She mused upon this whilst eating extremely fast, her mouth open, slightly slathering. Then after a hefty brunch or dinner, would take many minutes to contemplate - pouring over the menu and eyeing other diner's sweet treats - the first (and then second) dessert of the day whilst musing on diets ARRRRGH.Some clever person once said you always hate the thing you are, my hedonistic mate gorged herself but declared she was never really happy with her fare, found a reason to complain about everything from the drive to the accommodation to the service to the food etc. On the one hand her attitude is at times extreme and on a par with the most precious Diva but no doubt I see, and don't like, our similar love of greed and measure my own behaviour against it and found myself wanting. God knows I have my vices but faced with this endless conflicting rap - I really strive to acknowledge my hypocrisy and the fact that us women are a mass of contradictions. I did listen attentively and attempted to be supportive. I am not sure I succeeded but I genuinely hope I did and at least one of us enjoyed the weekend.
Despite the food, drink, laziness, pleasant walks (!) chats and mooches around arts & crafts shops etcetc, it didn't work for me. It was a bit like my New York experience. I want to go back but just not with the same person. Chalk n cheese works in small does BUT....
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