I remember the occasion when Roger came into my life for the first time. I was having lunch for some great gal pals, Amalie, Ellie and Carol and inevitably because of the company I was with, the conversation turned to bedroom gymnastics. It then transpired that they sometimes employed plastic aids and they were as one, horrified when I told them that not only did I not use them, I had none. Now I can't recall if my colleagues had imbibed over our repast (I don't think we did) but they all insisted that post-lunch, we go (they practically marched me) to the High Street purveyor of toys and dress ups for big boys and girls. Well what a selection. I choose Roger as he was modest in price (and size.....!) had the basic functions and at that time, the very popular TV series featuring Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and of course, Charlotte had recently aired an advert for Roger and his friends - the alternative adventures of Brier Rabbit! The funniest thing was that after making my selection and going to the counter, the check out chick asked me 1) if I would like some special cleansing wipes for Roger and 2) did I want to super-size it..... my eyes watered as I politely declined and handed over my credit card.The girls knew that my partner was away that weekend and warmly congratulated me in anticipation of my introductory session with my new friend (the honeymoon if you will..) I remember feeling a little uncomfortable (no pun intended) as I opened my present - almost like I was cheating and with trepidation, experimented with the various buttons and speeds. I recall many minutes of feminine rushes and I was a convert. Thank you ladies.
I let the AA's wear down over the following months and Roger came out to play less and less but nonetheless he stays on my Christmas card list. We had a visit just recently when the stars aligned and after his post session cleanse I went to put him back in his downtime space but must have got distracted by something and rather than putting him back, I just put him nearby. I then promptly forgot all about it and Roger stood upon the shelf loud & proud and was no doubt enjoying his freedom for a few hours. Fast forward to that evening when my partner returned from work and I was sitting watching telly with the cat on my lap having a brush. He went into Roger's room to alight his work accouterments and then turned around to put some loose change into the container and some Kerr-ching cash into this slush fund which was on the same shelving unit as Roger, who was no doubt winking at him, sending out a silent Ha-Ha - channelling Nelson in the Simpsons. I do wonder what went through my partner's mind but I had admitted to owning Roger previously but I guess it was a case of our of sight out of mind. So he picked Roger up and brought him out to me to ask why he was on display...... I think I kept a straight face and said I was clearing out my drawers (whoop whoop) and had thought to throw him away. So little loyalty on my part! I said he could have Roger if he wanted to and I got a no thanks in response and he put Roger back where he found him. As I type Roger is still standing loud and proud on the shelving unit but it has been a few days of freedom and I think he should go back in his box now. Nite nite Roger, I don't plan to throw you away like that kid in Toy Story but I cannot say when I will get you out to play again, you may be in hibernation for a while.
Thats all folks but do treat yourself to some new AA's soon!
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